Forty Shmorty

August 28, 2012

It happened at midnight. I officially left my thirties behind.  I’m not that thrilled about it. I hate to be a cliché, but I’m so going there…you got it…I’m having a major mid-life crisis. It’s been going on for a while, but has gotten more intense recently. This particular Birthday is not my favorite. I have definitely been assessing and evaluating the first 40 years.

I’m feeling a little…I don’t know what….

Restless. Yes, I’ve been restless. I’ve been feeling the need to do something. Something monumental to mark this milestone. Dye pieces of my hair blue. Get a tattoo. Go to trapeze school. Get a “Helix” piercing. I’ll let you run wild with that one….

No. Can’t do it. I’ve got to tell you. It’s a piercing on the top of your ear.

You like? It’s so totally fake. I did send it to my Mother for shits and giggles. She went apoplectic. Priceless.

I talked about this “restlessness” with a lot of people over the past couple of months. And, whenever I brought up my desire for a tattoo…well, holy, stop, drop, and roll…people had some major visceral reactions.  The majority, were AGAINST the tattoo. Let me be clear here. I wasn’t asking for opinions, but was happy to hear them. Their views really helped me with ironing out some important parenting issues.

For example, a lot of people asked, “What happens if Sam or Jake want to get a tattoo or get one when they’re older?” My response was, “Well, as long as my kids are happy, productive, and treat people with kindness I’m okay with them getting some ink.”

While my suburban brethren sat in shock, I continued, “I mean, if that’s the worst they do in their lives, then I’m getting off easy.” I’d get some answering head bobs communicating their tacit agreement on that point.

Of course, Mark was also very against the “tatt,” and, unfortunately, his is the only opinion that matters. So, when he said, “I will be P-I-S-S-E-D if you do it,” I immediately offered to inscribe his name on the inside of my wrist. You know what he said to me?

He said, “Well, that will be a problem for your second husband if his name isn’t Mark or if he spells Mark with a ‘c’ and not a ‘k’.” Damn. And, double damn.

It no longer matters now anyway. In an ideal world, I would pop a Xanax, do a shot of tequila, and visit Addicted To Ink tomorrow to celebrate my 40’s with some inky body symbol, but alas, it’s not to be.

Once my girl, Kris, suggested that I’ve got a solid 15 years to rock it until it becomes a hot wrinkly mess, I was pretty done. She makes a good point. I told her, “Maybe, I’ll just get some nips and tucks here and there instead.”

Kris gave me the thumbs up and a, “Thatta girl.”

I may go for the “Helix” though. We’ll see.

The other night I opened my fortune cookie and this is what I got, “In youth and beauty, wisdom is rare.” I almost fell of my chair. Hey, that rhymes.

But, that fortune was pretty accurate. Because, with age does come wisdom. The wisdom that getting older sucks. It sucks.

And, I will “not go gentle into that good night.” I will nip, tuck, inject, SoulCycle like crazy (meh), spend a fortune in facial products, and do what I have to do to look as young as I feel. I feel about 20, which I guess is pretty good since 40 is the new 20 now, anyway.

So…forty shmorty.


What’s your age milestone? 


{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Gabrielle Wise August 28, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Happy birthday my friend! There is a bike with your name on it when you are ready :). 40’s ROCK!!! It is the best kept secret 😉

2 Sharon August 28, 2012 at 5:33 pm

When the kids start school, I’m finding that bike!!! Make sure it’s in the way back. 😉

I got a free Ice-Coffee today from Sal at Lange’s, so 40 isn’t looking too bad so far.


3 kris August 28, 2012 at 3:56 pm

That girl Kris is genius. Anyway, we will not go down easy (e.g. botox, fillers, work outs, etc.), and we won’t go down stupid (tats). You are the greatest my little neurotic butterfly. I love you. Happy Birthday sweetness!

4 Sharon August 28, 2012 at 5:34 pm

She is beyond genius. I’m going down swinging and screaming, hopefully from the rafters in ecstasy. 😉 Had to do it!!!!

I love you!!!

5 Kim August 29, 2012 at 3:11 am

FYI…(sorry Kris) in 15 years Sharon you will still be gorgeous!!! Listen I’m vain don’t get me wrong…but less is best and we all seem to look way better with age than we did back in the day. Take a look back… Bad hair, bad bags and oh what awful clothes and shoes. Thank u to all the fabulous designers out there and not our dermotologists!!! U are all only as old as u want to feel, and it of course is always what’s inside that counts most and makes u beautiful!!! Xo
Happy 20!!!!!! Luv ya

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