Happy 2016 Everyone! I’m wishing lots of happy and lots of smiles to all of you!
Before I get into anything, I just want to thank you for visiting me over the years, reading my words, sending me your thoughts, and most recently, offering your support and beautiful words of encouragement. No one should ever feel alone, and I hope by sharing, I’m also helping someone else in some small way.
The ball has dropped…Thank G-d!!! I’m turning that page, and I’m ready for my next chapter.
You now all know…2015 wasn’t a banner year for me. It kinda sucked. Sucked in the way that I often found myself muttering, “What the fuck else can happen now?” Although, I really can’t be too negative about last year. It would suck a helluva lot more if I had to start 2016 with the X. So, I’m counting my blessings and enjoying my first New Year without the X in 17 years. Shit. That’s a long time!
Now, I feel old. Particularly, when I was watching Dick Clark’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve Party last night with the boys. I have literally never heard any of the songs that were played, but they seemed to know every performer and all the lyrics. The boys proceeded to school me and now I’m totally digging Tove Lo, Andy Grammar, and 5 Seconds of Summer. I’m thinking I just climbed the ladder a little to “cool?” Naaah. Probably not. Although, Jake says, “You’re climbing Mom. Slowly. But, you need to add DNCE and Pentatonix to your list.”
There is a “bigger picture” about the New Year that I want to try and articulate. I don’t want you thinking I’m throwing out some “resolution list” for 2016. Because, I’m not. I might be heading to sappy-town a little bit over here, but bare with me…
It was near impossible for me to write when I was in the middle of everything with the X. And, while it was a real disservice to me, my psyche, and self-esteem, it was even more detrimental to my kids. That may sound odd, but I promise you, it’s not.
When I was writing with discipline, my boys were happy and proud of me, because they saw how happy I was with myself. They saw me at peace. They saw me focused. They saw me determined. I was leading by example, not preaching with words.
The boys loved being part of my posts too. They were excited to read my articles. And, they got the same kind of thrill that I did every time I received a rejection letter for my book. They saw that there was no shame in failing, but joy in trying.
They were infused with confidence and their own self-esteem. By doing something for myself, something I loved doing, I was doing something for my kids. Something invaluable. I was teaching them about self-love, self-respect, and what it means to have a sense of achievement.
Curious, I just asked Jake, “What do you feel I’m showing you when I’m writing?”
“Happiness,” was Jake’s quick and definitive answer.
And, then he followed with, “Now, can you get me a drink, Woman?”
Seriously, who is this kid? I answered, “Well, if I do, then I won’t be able to finish my post.”
“Forget it then. Keep writing.” Bossy. Bossy.
Sam and Jake are my biggest supporters. Just as I’m always there to help foster their interests and champion them, they do the same for me. And, actually, this is my whole point.
The boys want me to be happy. They need me to be happy. They have to see me bettering myself, and loving myself. If I’m taking care of myself, I’m taking care of them. After all, how can I teach them about self-discipline, if I have none? How can I instill a sense of self-respect in them, if they see I’ve lost my own? How will Sam and Jake learn to be happy with themselves, if I’m not happy with myself?
So, this is it people. This is my resolution for the New Year…Happiness. Just to be happy with me, so my happy can be contagious to those beautiful boys. (Okay…That, and finally getting rid of those 5 lbs.)
What do you want for yourself in 2016?