Fifty Fever

Once again, my man “Fifty” is consuming my life. Everywhere I turn it’s all things “Fifty Shades of Grey.” Well, today I feel the need to reiterate my love and devotion to this trilogy in light of the recent media attention it has so deservedly and not-so deservedly received.

You know you’ve hit “it” when The New York Times makes you front page news.

Richard Perry/The New York Times “Fifty Shades of Grey,” by E L James, at Watchung Booksellers in Montclair, N.J.

My friend, fellow lifestyle blogger, and kindred spirit, Nikki Joel, was on the Dr. Drew Show this past Wednesday evening to discuss Fifty. She totally rocked it, looked amazing, and represented all the Fifty lovers right. So proud of her! (I’ll be writing about how we met and bonded in a future post. Please take a look at her fabulous blog Lifestyle Lemonaid.)

Nikki was part of a six person panel that was split between the advocates and non-advocates. Dr. Drew’s Wednesday show came off the heels of his controversial Today Show appearance that created a viral uproar. Fifty lovers have taken exception to Dr. Drew’s stance that the Fifty trilogy is depicting violence against women and sexual enslavement.

Here’s a clip from Nikki’s appearance on Dr. Drew:

Nothing could be further from the truth, and had Dr. Drew actually read the books he might have been able to speak about them from an enlightened and educated perspective. Thank G-d for women like Dr. Logan Levkoff and Nikki Joel who were able to stand-up for all of us that have experienced “Aha” life changing moments because of the Fifty books. Dr. Logan Levkoff is a renowned sexologist, relationship expert and author who eloquently countered Dr. Drew’s initial assertions on the Today Show, and then again in her Huffington Post article, Deconstructing Fifty Shades of Grey.

Here’s The Today Show Segment:

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I’ve read, watched and listened to all the media coverage. And, there is one thing that everyone keeps missing. The Fifty books are all about pleasing the woman, Anastasia Steele. Everything that is done to her, minus one little spanking episode, is all for her pleasure. So yes, there is the erotic kink aspect, which is fucking hot, but it’s the backdrop for a rather conventional love story. Emotional unavailable man meets beautiful soulful young woman who rocks his world, and little by little he becomes not-so emotionally unavailable. The tables get turned and where he once proclaimed to be the opposite of a “hearts and flowers” man, Christian Grey becomes the ultimate romantic lover. He is changed by HER.

Now, what my fellow thirty to fifty something women are responding to, is the sexual fantasy of having a gorgeous environmentally-conscious well-dressed billionaire who is both emotionally challenging and giving, possessive, a “sexpert,” who can, yes, dominate us in the bedroom. What’s wrong with that? And, if we want to play around with a little harmless BDSM that we’ve read about in books, so what. I know Mark has been walking around very happy and very relaxed since I started reading these books back in December.

The Fifty trilogy has been a source of sexual empowerment and female bonding for many women. With this outcome, how can anyone see the negative in them?

As wives and mothers, we are in control of everything. Do I need to go through the list??? Because I will. Dr. Drew and anyone else who doesn’t understand the allure of the Fifty books, and why they have captivated so many mid-life women, listen up.

We have carpools, homework, meals, dry cleaners, different supermarkets for different food items, costco, after-school activities, social calendars to organize for everyone, birthday parties, doctors appointments, haircuts, and constant teaching of manners and all other “life” moments our children (and husbands) will need in order to make it in the world.

We’re fucking exhausted and tired of constantly being in control, of everything. It’s emotionally and physically draining. So, yes, the idea of having someone “take-over” and be commanding in the bedroom is fantastically arousing. When I came across Fifty months ago, I was like, “Yes, yes, yes…Oh G-d, yes!” You can imagine a When Harry Met Sally deli moment if you’d like.

As many of you know, I have now read much of the contemporary romance and erotica genre, and there is a common theme that runs through these books. The woman always comes first. Pun totally intended. That is what gets us hot. Okay, the riding crop, silver balls, and getting tied-up does it too. But, knowing someone else is going to take care of you, please you and tell YOU what to do, so you don’t have to think for once, is a pretty amazing turn-on. Along with the dirty talk and very talented appendages, of course.

And, honestly, we’re not reading these books for the pulitzer-prize winning writing, so can everyone lay-off already.

However, I would like to state for the record, the literary use of e-mail exchange between Christian and Ana is one of the hottest things about these books. I wish my husband would flirt and titillate me like that. I know I’m not alone in this. Some of those e-mails depict the most incredible display of mental foreplay I’ve ever seen.

On a historical note, leave it to the Brits to stir up sexually charged literary controversy. It was back in 1960 when D.H. Lawrence’s Lady Chatterley’s Lover was finally able to be published openly in the United Kingdom after Penguin Books won it’s battle against the Obscene Publications Act of 1959. Thank the Lord!

Back then, the prosecution was admonished for being “out of touch with the changing social norms.” Today, it would appear that times are changing again. And, when it comes to women and their literary prose, let’s just say, we know what we want. And, we want Fifty.

(Read my previous posts on Fifty; Read Me “Fifty” Times and Sex Crazed.)

What’s your position on Fifty?