Staple It

November 30, 2011

This Thanksgiving weekend trip to LA did not start off on such a high note. We had a lot of excitement the night before we left, which was exactly one week ago today.

Part of my packing process is to run around like a complete maniac, buying items that no state would clearly ever carry, other than New York. I also tend to squeeze in a quick shopping trip, just for some last minute essentials. You know how it is. And, good thing I managed to fit one in last week, because I ended up wearing two items to two significant meals in LA.

So, I came home last Tuesday evening, around 6:00 pm, with packing on my mind. Jake came bounding up to me garbling, “Mommy, Sam and I were playing and he pushed me into the wall and I hit my head and it hurts.”

“Was it on purpose or an accident? Sam? On purpose, or an accident?” I yelled down the stairs to the basement.

“Accident,” Sam yelled back.

I looked at Jake. “Accident,” he said, while nodding his head, “yes,” for reinforcement. I gave them both my, “That’s what happens when you rough-house” speech. But, really, I wasn’t that concerned. They’re boys. They play rough. And, as long as there’s no blood or blood-curdling screams, I’m copacetic.

Jake Head Injury

A re-enactment of Jake's pain, after his collision with the basement wall.

I gave Jake a hug, told him to take it easy, and settled him onto the couch. Then, I headed upstairs to finish packing.

*Sidebar note: When packing, I always use tissue paper, in between the folds, which helps to limit wrinkles. And, for extra measure, everything gets packed in Ziploc plastic bags. This makes unpacking and re-packing easy. Everything is quickly identifiable and protected in case of a toiletries explosion. What? I’m a Virgo.

At about 9:00 pm, Mark came upstairs, insisting that Jake put something in his hair.

I took a look, and sternly questioned, “Jake, what did you put in your hair?” It looked like a gelatinous mess in the back of his head. I wasn’t so off base to assume he had done something. I mean, he has been known to put various items in his hair, like Vaseline, shaving cream, toothpaste (that was bitch to get out of his hair), chocolate syrup…you get the idea.

“Nothing,” was his response.

“Really? It looks like Jell-O. Did you put Jell-O in your hair?” I was suspicious.

“No, I swear. Nothingggg,” Jake cried.

“Well, you’re going to have to take another shower to get whatever you put in there, OUT,” I declared.

Mark was on shower duty. I heard Jake whimper, and then they were back, standing over me. I looked up from my field of tissue paper and plastic bags, “All clean?”

Mark motioned for me to get up, pointed down at Jake’s head, and sighed, “It was blood.”  I freaked. Fucking freaked. My poor baby. I made Jake lie face down on my bed so I could inspect his precious little head. And, you know what I found? A huge deep gash.

Who’s the worst Mother on the planet? Me, that’s who. I’m accusing my six year old child of putting food in his hair, if Jell-O can be considered a food, when he was seriously wounded and seriously bleeding.

Mark rushed Jake, still in his pajamas, to the hospital. Sam and I were complete wrecks. And, he wasn’t going to bed until he knew Jake was OK.

I have to say, it was really nice to see Sam exhibiting such genuine brotherly concern, even if the genesis was his own guilt for having pushed Jake in the first place. It still counts.

Sam and Jake Hug

Another re-enactment. This displays Sam's concern, and ultimate relief, that his baby brother is A-OK.

Around 11:00 pm, we hear this little voice, sing-song yell, “Jakey’s back. And, Jakey has a staple in his head.” Sam flew downstairs to see him.

Jake told us about his bravery, and that he didn’t cry once. He just sucked on Ba-Ba (his blankie for those of you just joining.) I, of course, was extremely proud of him.

The Doctor gave him one specific rule to follow; no running or jumping. Maybe that’s two. In any event, it was a hard one for him to hear.

At the airport, the next morning, Jake exuberantly told anybody, within earshot, about the staple in his head. No, he didn’t set off the metal detectors. Yes, we heard that once or twice.

Now, it’s exactly a week later, the infamous staple is out, preserved in a medical bio-hazard plastic bag, and sitting on Jake’s dresser. He plans on bringing it into school tomorrow to show all his friends. And, when I asked him if it feels good to have the staple out, he replied, “Yes. I can run Mommy. And, jump too.”

Run, Jakey, run. Just, please, don’t fall, crack your head open or break a bone. One staple is enough for me. And, I have the plastic bag to prove it.

Jake's Staple

The actual staple.


{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jessica November 30, 2011 at 6:25 pm

Poor Jakey! What a brave little man you have. Tell him I said so!


2 Hilary November 30, 2011 at 6:36 pm

oh…. sounds just like the way OUR thanksgiving started…. I was packing upstairs (to go to my Mom’s in Purchase) and I actually heard the blood curdling scream. I ran to the staircase and saw Hudson running up the stairs with blood pouring down his face. I couldn’t even tell where the blood was coming from. Jeff grabbed a towel and I went to get ice and to call our sitter (who had JUST left) to tell her she might need to come back in case I needed to get to the hospital. Turns out that Noah kicked Hudson in the nose while they were trying to get the same piece of halloween candy. Thankfully, no broken nose! (with our genetics, it will be bad anyway, but didn’t want it to happen so early). The worst part was realizing that we had a trail of blood up our beige staircase!!! Thankfully, I have a wonderful cleaning product I bought at shoprite that is formulated for specific stains (one for grass, one for oil, one for nailpolish and, thankfully, one for blood!)

So glad Jake is ok and too bad he didn’t set off the metal detector. As I now know (from having the metal hip), the pat down is a whole lot of fun. NOT!

3 Sharon November 30, 2011 at 7:09 pm

thanks jess!! xo

4 Sharon November 30, 2011 at 7:10 pm

i might disagree with you on the pat down…sometimes, that’s the highlight of my trip!

happy to hear both boys are okay!!

5 Kim December 4, 2011 at 12:17 am

You are hilarious. Love it!!!

6 Xaria June 24, 2012 at 10:51 am

That’s a well-thought-out answer to a cahllenigng question

Leave a Comment